1. |
take me back
03:33
|
|||
february 8, 2019
take me back to a place
where words are exchanged
and i feel everything
a little more
and the words that i say
come from my heart and not my brain
and you're still there
when i walk through the door
you know it's rare, i never lied when i first met you
somewhere i feel like i got lost and hope that you get rescued
we yearn about the summer times enshrined in mind then left to
grow up and find the windy line, hoping the lord will bless you
take me back to the days i feel less alone
and feeling emotions didn't mean i turned myself into stone
and thunderstorms never came when I think of the future when asked
by mom and dad and reassure them that i'm finding a path, so i'm
running around like a fool now
searching my chest for the cool down
diving inside of the pool now
seeing my friends on their pull out
look at myself on the way, praying my bullet wont stray
minimum wage, next to the bachelor's degree,
don't know the way so i -
give me rest, i'm so tired of being in my head oh
know it's nothing really special, i can't seem to let go
looking for myself in stress
minutes hours on the headphones looking empty
i just wanna see them searching and they try to find me
keep it in my head and chest so you can't see my ugly
give me guidance or a goal, i don't see it coming
cycle or a dance, looking for my friends
running around like a fool now
searching my chest for the cool down
diving inside of the pool now
seeing my friends on their pull out
look at myself on the way, praying my bullet wont stray
minimum wage, next to the bachelor's degree,
don't know the way so i stay there so
looking at myself and hope i never do you wrong
knowing one day we'll be out and feelings like this will be gone
problems of a 20 something not new
and here's to drawing out a blueprint that won't always stay blue
|
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2. |
subside
03:23
|
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november 27, 2017
lying in your bed side by side
a feeling heavy in my chest won't subside
you tell me stories about your mundane night
i pull you closer it's not close enough
standing outside your car
you roll down the window
there's something i have to get out before you go
i love you
will you hate me if i call you in the morning
i want to see your face before you go
reflections of moonlight in your eyes
another colorful evening passes by
i make a comment beneath these amber skies
you hold me closer it's not close enough
standing outside your car
you roll down the window
there's something i have to get out before you go
i love you
will you hate me if i call you in the morning
i want to see your face before you go
|
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3. |
show up
03:30
|
|||
february 9, 2019
i only show up when you ask me to
jaded at parties where i'd wait for you
and i thought you'd be here
all of the things i didn't want to do
i romanticized because of you
and i thought you'd be here
where were you
last night
i waited
up for you all night
|
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4. |
change
03:36
|
|||
oct 15, 2019
you say you want me to change
i don't believe you anymore
you shut the door
flying down at 50
and you throw open the door
you wanted more
remember it was war
and i was yours
and now i'm looking at the pictures on the floor
you wanted more
|
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5. |
wishful thinking
03:03
|
|||
june 25, 2019
don't tell yourself it's over
when you get back home tonight
you'll find that when you're sober
she looks different in the light
it's a slip of the tongue
a wrong move when you're drunk
and her hair in your hand
must be something unplanned
and i'll say it again
and again
don't tell yourself it's over
when you get back home tonight
you'll find that when you're sober
she looks different in the light
maybe i'm overthinking
calling it an oversight
in whispered voices, speaking
we reach a compromise
it's a trick of the light
your hand on her thigh
and the radio silence
wasn't fight or flight
and i'll say it again
and again
don't tell yourself it's over
when you get back home tonight
you'll find that when you're sober
she looks different in the light
maybe it's wishful thinking
wanting you to take my side
but she is there and i am leaving
give me just one more night
|
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6. |
re: voicemail-33
02:36
|
|||
oct 10, 2019
it's been a little while since i've heard your voice echoing back
from down the hall
and i'm wondering why did i let you go without
picking up your call
i'm fading out
i'm feeling lightheaded
hour and a half on the road
i'm feeling low
i'm feeling everything happening slow
don't how to be on my own
i'm feeling low
i'm feeling everything start to go
|
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7. |
tiny figure
03:43
|
|||
january 4, 2020
faded blue on you
warmer words, cracked through
dim reflection, sober connection
life was balanced with you
there's a drawer for you
bath towel and shampoo
leather seats, company
fall away with you
gifts returned, brand new
wasted time, argued
stolen sweatshirt, you're a collector
going on year two
empty cards from you
gentle voice push through
tiny figure, pull the trigger
who was i without you
|
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8. |
retainer
03:02
|
|||
november 2, 2019
more words i can't get out
i thought i had it figured out
a way to live just for myself
convinced that i was doing well
more lies i couldn't see
my own advice, i couldn't keep
i let you in so easily
"detach, detach", no i don't need
but my stomach hurts, i can't fall asleep
even when you're lying next to me
a caving in my chest so deep
i feel my heart beneath my feet
i can't stand to hear your apologies
or your face twisted in sympathy
your hold so tight and comforting
but i just can't stop overthinking
i'm losing you, i can't fall asleep
even when you're lying next to me
your hold so tight and comforting
but i feel so cold i'm shivering
and my stomach hurts, but i can't eat
and i feel my body growing weak
i don't deserve your empathy
i can't stand it when you look at me
i am losing you, and you fall asleep
your self restraint is killing me
you hold me tight but i can't sleep
you're warm and i am shivering
i don't understand how it got this way
i was looking forward to today
and now living feels like a chore
i don't want to be here anymore
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9. |
bluebell
02:16
|
|||
november 18, 2019
the way your hair falls from your face
and almost meets your waist
i wish this wasn't the last time
i left your place
looking down into your eyes
i say my last goodbyes
to this view of you in bed
my arms down by your head
i wish you well
sweet bluebell
you gave me warmth
i miss that now
another touch of consolation
feels cold to my frustration
and you tell me everything will
be alright
there were tears to my surprise
falling down onto your thighs
and it dawns on me that
there's no compromise
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10. |
morning rain
03:20
|
|||
march 26, 2019
i took a walk in the morning rain
wondering how you've been
your touch like rain evaporates
and slowly leaves my skin
i thought at least twice today
that i can't remember when
your words like fog would dissipate
and gently settle in
will you remember me
devoid of all my empathy
she said "you get bored easily
tell me are you bored of me?"
|
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